Tag Archives: Skid Mark

Cat Traps..

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I am one of those special people who enjoy funny pictures of cats (Yes, I am training to be a crazy cat lady one day). I seen a picture a couple of weeks ago and I giggled all day long. There were three boxes in someones front yard and every SINGLE one of the boxes had a cat in it (I’m such a loser I am laughing right now thinking about it). The picture was simply titled, “Cat Traps”. So, I decided to see if Skid Mark would be snowed by one of these so-called, “Cat Traps” and I give you….

Skidmark in a box.

Who knew? It works. Lay a box down and BAM instant kitty in a box and if you don’t have a box then you can also try….

an open suitcase.  Just as good as a box.

And as a bonus you can fill anything with water on a warm day and….

Instant Puppies

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Happy Vday!

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And I don’t mean venereal day!

My husband and I were talking about this the other day. How did it go from flowers to electronics and such? So, I didn’t even really prepare at all this year. I got him a card and I’m totally letting him watch his shows and I haven’t rolled my eyes once. And if he plays his cards right there might be a little something extra later. I doubt it but you never know. I am feeling lovey dovey today.  🙂 And this evening he is going to cook me some wild hog. Yes, that is correct. I have never tried it and he’s never cooked it so this could be interesting. Don’t worry I have wine. 🙂

I also had a very smart idea this morning. I woke my children today with huge Hershey kisses. Why is that smart? Well, I bribed my spazzo child with it and he got ready for school without one complaint. He was so excited about his massive Hershey kiss and school party that he didn’t complain about getting out of bed, putting his clothes on, or when I sprayed him with stinky stuff (Axe body spray so he would smell nice for the ladies). I know that doesn’t seem like a big deal to you but with the oldest one I could whisper his name from my room and he would be up and ready for school in 10 minutes. The spazzo takes like 40 minutes to put a shoe on (notice A shoe not TWO). I was very excited when he just jumped up and got ready without making me a spazzo also. 🙂

I also have a Valentine and it’s not even my husband. I let Spazzo have his first friend stay the night a couple of weeks ago and his little friend told his teacher that I am his Valentine. 🙂 I should have got him a huge Hershey Kiss. Man, I’m an awful Valentine. It’s cute now but when the kids are older it will be awkward having all their friends wanting to be my Valentine mwhahahaha. I kid I kid.

Everyone should have something special so I even let our dog Trixie have one of the boys army men. She isn’t enjoying it as much as usual because I gave it to her and every time she starts chewing she looks at me wondering if it’s okay. I am even going to play fetch with my cat later. Of course that is more entertaining to me than him but he loves the attention.

So, Happy Valentine’s everyone!! I hope your day goes lovely and if you don’t get flowers I hope that you find some money on the ground, get to watch your DVR’d shows, someone gives you an army man to chew on, or plays fetch with you.

Funny Valentine's Day Ecard: This Valentine's Day, expect the finest flowers still available on Valentine's Day.

How to know when you’ve been smeared…

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When you say it though you have to say it more like “Schmear”. It makes it more authentic. I will give you an early warning this blog is going to say vagina. See, vagina, vagina, vagina (thank you Varsity Blues and that’s pretty much the last time I say it but it just feels so rebellious). The schools should say it more also but that is a subject for another day.

My dog Trixie (my mom has started calling her Trashy) has a habit of laying the back of her body flat in turn schmearing everything with her va jay jay (thank you Oprah Winfrey). She crawls off the couch like this, the bed, around the carpet, it does not matter. The dog has no shame. So, a few days ago I’m minding my own business cleaning and doing my rat killing (thank you cliché) and Skidmark (the cat read about Skidmark HERE) is being a nuisance. He is attacking the walls, the carpet, my feet, you name it and he is on it. He starts attacking Trashy and she usually just ignores him and goes on about her schmearing. Not this day though, no, she was exhausted from a play date at Nanna’s house and she was tired of Skidmark’s tactics. She was putting an end to it. Skidmark is underneath her giving it all he’s got (oh, you know what is coming) and Trashy lays those back legs flat and schmears right over the cats face (I swear she smiled when she did it). His face was smashed to the carpet with a terrified, “What the hell” is going on look. And I was just lucky enough to see that magical moment when Skidmark finally got his.

Trashy schmearing the carpet and Skidmark exhausted after being schmeared.

Stupid cat…..

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I clean the lumps from the litter and I am sweeping and cleaning his area up and Skidmark has to use it asap. Well, I have one on him because I haven’t even put in the fresh litter he loves so much and now it will stay fresh even longer (that’s what I’m thinking) and I’m so proud. I’m in his face all like ha ha ha stupid cat. Then he jumps in and drops another deuce. WTC. This is my day. Stay in school kids.

 

New member of the McLinden Clan

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We have a new family member as of yesterday-

Introducing Trixie

“I’m a sweetheart but I have a severe under-bite and get very car sick. I get attacked by Skid Mark every 10 seconds or so. I’m pretty sure I have a face only a mother could love or I’m so cute I’m ugly. “

Bless my heart...

I really hate that stupid cat and when my teeth gets caught up in my under bite.”

What Skid Mark thinks of Trixie and also Tara.

Cheap Labor…

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All it costs is a little yogurt

A little pre-rinse before going in the dishwasher. I think I’ll call him Shooter McWashin.

A little cat food and he'll play fetch with this ball all day long

I got this cat for free and he’s half dog…we really should call him Skidmark the Catdog. You see the kids have the best of both worlds until he claws your face off.