Category Archives: Animal

It’s Official…

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I am a glorified cat lady.

My tree died last Christmas. I lost the stand and a few crucial branches so I thought I would be cheap until after Christmas. I found a pre-lit tree for $39 bucks. I was stoked. I mean until after Christmas it would be great, right? Not so much. It was sad from the start. I thought maybe I could spruce it up a bit but my decorations were still packed away in boxes so it was left to its own for a day or week. I did not realize that my cat thought I had given him the best Christmas present ever.

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I’m pretty sure we could give the Charlie Brown tree a run for its money. My cats ass actually bent the branches down and the branches …they said screw it and won’t even stretch back in to fill any gaps.
I’m thinking this cat lady thing isn’t working so well for me.
On a side not I was able to find another use for the tree box.

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Cat trap 2

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I am trying to figure my iPhone out and this is not going well for me! Just stick with me and we will work it out. 🙂
My post is SUPPOSED to say that a bag even works. 🙂 and as you can see i have a lot of free time on my hands! It is supposed to be a picture. Is it there Siri? Ha ha. I love and hate you and no I do not need you to search the web for love/hate because you are the definition.
Oh, did I tell you that my husband adopted 2 new puppies? I’m sure he was afraid the kids and I would be bored since we don’t have a lot to clean up with our massive Marmaduke running around chewing on EVERYTHING. We were thinking of naming them Salt and Pepper (one has a tiny white dot on her head and the male is just black) but then my husband said something the other day that made me want to name them Dan and Roseanne. So, I give you the new un-named new members of our family…

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Cat Traps..

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I am one of those special people who enjoy funny pictures of cats (Yes, I am training to be a crazy cat lady one day). I seen a picture a couple of weeks ago and I giggled all day long. There were three boxes in someones front yard and every SINGLE one of the boxes had a cat in it (I’m such a loser I am laughing right now thinking about it). The picture was simply titled, “Cat Traps”. So, I decided to see if Skid Mark would be snowed by one of these so-called, “Cat Traps” and I give you….

Skidmark in a box.

Who knew? It works. Lay a box down and BAM instant kitty in a box and if you don’t have a box then you can also try….

an open suitcase.  Just as good as a box.

And as a bonus you can fill anything with water on a warm day and….

Instant Puppies

Procrastinator now on resume..

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I haven’t had much to write about lately (any time really) so I haven’t. Is this a good excuse? No, because I love writing blogs but lately my words they just don’t come out right.
The most interesting thing to happen today? I moved the recliner and found ds games, a dog toy, and my cats mouse (play mouse or it could have been very interesting).
The school year has started and I have discovered third grade is tough. I have to figure out problems to help my son. The days of counting on my fingers are now gone and it makes me sad for his sake!
Our dog Blue is now a massive beast. He has an obsession with eating pillows or anything really. He makes me angry at least five times a day. He chews on wooden chair legs.

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He chews on my poor Trixie girl. He chews on my cat. And apparently he has tried chewing on the ups man because now I have to meet him to get my packages.
He has (for now) all his man bits. My youngest said just the other day how Blues guts hang out everywhere. When he lays down on the porch his guts lay beside him lol (we are talking scrotum bits if you haven’t caught my meaning). And I’m so glad my youngest calls them guts! My oldest probably wouldn’t have used the same words to explain.
My pet peeve for the day is my cat and his play mice. He plays fetch like a dog and every time I vacuum I throw his mice out of my way and when I turn around they are back in my way. I tried putting them in a bag on the counter and somehow the bag had a hole eaten thru and all mice were rescued from what I assume he thinks suffocation lol.
Oh the life I lead…

So, there is something about “trips” in here somewhere..

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It was my brother in laws birthday was this week and I found the most awesome present ever. I read the reviews on Amazon and it made me laugh so hard. He received it yesterday and said it is pretty funny. I’m patting myself on the back for this one.

Pure Awesome.

My oldest son was cracking me up yesterday. He was giving advice to my youngest on how to get the “ladies”. I think he will be a ladies man a lot sooner than I would like him to be. He told me a few nights ago that one of the reasons he loves me so much is because I am so smart. I told him thank you (and this is where the man comes out in him) and he says to me, “Yeah, when I can’t find my shoes you always seem to know where to find them,” and he’s 9 so that is a pretty awesome compliment if you ask me.
Just a few days ago I got to have a proud moment when he held the door open for a little lady and her daughter (I assume it was because of the little girl) but you just never see polite kids anymore. I’ve had kids let the door slam in my face while carrying groceries or something similar so it made me proud to see him open the door for someone even if he still uses his fork like a shovel sometimes (it’s a work in progress).

Now, the youngest needs a lot more work. We were looking at campers a while back and the salesman was just going on and on about them and Shooter announces really loudly, “Wait for it…Waaaiiitt for it,” and just busts ass. It was so loud and gross. I know that we should have said something and we did …in between a giggle here or there. The salesman never skipped a beat. He just went on trying to sale campers.

Her neck is not usually this fat.

My poor baby Trixie must have been bitten by a snake. She wouldn’t pose for me (no lady likes having a double chin in a picture and this chin hangs to the floor).

My son had a baseball tournament a few weeks ago (baseball is pretty much 85% of my life right now). Of course there are like 10 other teams there from the surrounding area and what do I do? O I fall on my ass. It’s okay though it happens a lot. My mom and I just laughed and laughed and I got to thinking about it (after laughing about it with my husband also) and I have taken a lot of “trips” in my lifetime. I took a trip down some cement steps in England, I took a trip down a step in Coyote Ugly in Memphis (I blame that on the alcohol and being one of the worse bars I have ever been in), walking to an overlook at the Rocky Mountains in Colorado,  Las Vegas, well you get the point. Am I the only one who has all these stories about falling on my ass? Thank God I can laugh about them or I would have a serious complex! 🙂 Sometime, I will share with you my favorite “Sara no “H” accidents”. I have some good ones to tell.

Well, I guess I will quit rambling …For now.. 🙂

How to know when you’ve been smeared…

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When you say it though you have to say it more like “Schmear”. It makes it more authentic. I will give you an early warning this blog is going to say vagina. See, vagina, vagina, vagina (thank you Varsity Blues and that’s pretty much the last time I say it but it just feels so rebellious). The schools should say it more also but that is a subject for another day.

My dog Trixie (my mom has started calling her Trashy) has a habit of laying the back of her body flat in turn schmearing everything with her va jay jay (thank you Oprah Winfrey). She crawls off the couch like this, the bed, around the carpet, it does not matter. The dog has no shame. So, a few days ago I’m minding my own business cleaning and doing my rat killing (thank you clichĂ©) and Skidmark (the cat read about Skidmark HERE) is being a nuisance. He is attacking the walls, the carpet, my feet, you name it and he is on it. He starts attacking Trashy and she usually just ignores him and goes on about her schmearing. Not this day though, no, she was exhausted from a play date at Nanna’s house and she was tired of Skidmark’s tactics. She was putting an end to it. Skidmark is underneath her giving it all he’s got (oh, you know what is coming) and Trashy lays those back legs flat and schmears right over the cats face (I swear she smiled when she did it). His face was smashed to the carpet with a terrified, “What the hell” is going on look. And I was just lucky enough to see that magical moment when Skidmark finally got his.

Trashy schmearing the carpet and Skidmark exhausted after being schmeared.