Random..random…like that’s a shocker from me…

Standard

1. Why is when you come to a speed zone the police tell you that you must be going the speed of the speed limit signs as the speed limit declines BUT when you leave town if you are going the speed before you reach the sign they can pull you over?
2. We have named our bar Lousaro’s (clever combination of our names) and my husband thinks one rule should be the lid of the toilet seat should be left up. I think that is madness and is against every woman law in my head but I am a rebel so I forget most of the time (oops).
3. I love Red Bull. If for any reason someone ever wants to give me a gift Red Bull is like coming to my house and cleaning it. It is the gift that gives for like two hours until I crash. Also, I heart the tangy texture that most people hate. It’s a party in my mouth with every sip. And now I want a Red Bull.
4. My poor child ripped the crotch out of his pants at school and they put bright neon green duct tape on them and he thought it was hilarious. I’m so envious of boys. He didn’t even care that it didn’t match the red he was wearing.
5. I am obsessed with Amazon. You can buy things for .01 and still get free shipping even if it’s not a prime product and if you don’t know what Prime Amazon membership is…well you are missing out my friend. Missing out.
6. I am a Matron of Honor this weekend and I bought my first pair of heels last weekend. I walk smoothly in them (shocking for someone who randomly trips over shadows) but my ankle is twisted and I am very nervous about this. If I’m lucky I won’t fall and if I’m unlucky maybe someone will put it on You Tube and I will get another 15 minutes of fame (so maybe that is luck after all?).
7. Oh ANOTHER 15 minutes of fame you ask? Did I not tell you I was on local tv? And it wasn’t even for being a hill billy, tornado, or random hunting accident. I was on tv when I was in highschool. I was in the background typing away while the news people talked about how much our schools needed new technology. I mean really? What was so bad about our dot matrix printers? It was a big deal. People I seen once a year were like “I seen you on the news”. I never did get asked for my autograph. Hmmm…I am an attention whore so it worked for me.
8. Bath and Body is like crack for me. Once I step in the store it is impossible to get me out of the store for at least an hour. I come out of there smelling like a very confused French whore (sorry Frenchies but it is something we say here).
9. I threw a hen party last weekend. I never go to bars (because I have a private one of my own for one reason) and we went last weekend. At 11:30 I was in the car passed out and my friend closed the bar down ha ha. I had fun looking at the pictures even though I wasn’t in any of them. To bad the extra camera battery was in my purse.
10. I hate shopping carts. They are dirty and I’m allergic to nickel. I have been blessed with a fantastic friend who pushes my cart in the store when she is with me because she likes being the pusher of the cart (I think it’s a control thing mwhahahaha). I can’t let my oldest push it because it’s like bumper cars for him (I blame the video games) and he can’t seem to keep from hitting things or people.
So, there. That is my random diddlies for today. It has been a while so I just thought I would throw some out there for you. I think we have all learned something today. I am a rebel, juiced up on Red Bull, allergic to nickel, not understanding speed law, famous, heel wearing, Amazon addicted, French whore who can’t stay awake at bars, and is jealous of boys (more times than I should be! I mean come on you get to stand and pee). What more could you ask for in a friend?
And my latest addition to my brilliance? I got bangs yesterday because it is cheaper than botox. You’re welcome husband.

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6 responses »

  1. I’m convinced most police officers chose that line of work so they would have someone to talk to. That they happen to be lousy at it doesn’t seem to bother them in the least . . .This bar of yours is intriguing . . .Believe it or not, I haven’t gotten lost in the Amazon yet . . And I completely agree, dot matrix printers were the shit! The best part? They were great doorstops as well. How quickly people forget . . .and as far as bright neon green duct tape and red pants, what do you mean they don’t match?

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