Chronic Updaters


Have you ever woke up and thought “I’ll check Face Book this morning” and you are excited to see all the new posts, blogs, heck even some news. You turn the computer on and go make yourself a cup of coffee. You get settled in and sign onto Face Book and you see the chronic updater was up way before you that morning. What is a chronic updater you ask?

12 hours ago: Signing off for the night! See everyone in the morning! 🙂

10 hours ago: Was going to bed earlier but just couldn’t stop myself from looking at some pictures online. Going to bed now. Night all!

7:01 a.m.: Morning all! Had a good night of sleep. Just sitting here drinking my coffee on this beautiful day.

7:02 a.m.: Just finished the last drink of my coffee. Guess I better get up and make this day a productive one!

7:20 a.m.: Whew, sorry i haven’t posted in a while. Caffeine in the mornings hits my belly hard and I forgot my phone on my run to the ladies room. Don’t worry everything came out okay!

8:00 a.m.: The kids are up. We are going to clean house and by that I mean I’m going to sit here and watch for any Face Book updates while I make them clean the house!

9:00 a.m.: The baby tried peas for the first time today and threw up in my face! She is so stinkin’ cute!

10:00 a.m.: Life sucks. And so do you Bobbijo Luanna Dillpickle. I know that was you calling my husband. Don’t think I don’t know your scratchy smokers voice.

10:05 a.m.: Sorry, Bobbijo. I know now it wasn’t you that called.

I love you Chronic Updater. Keep on keepin’ on.

10 responses »

    • Thanks Norm. Actually, Etchison gave me the idea a long time ago when he was making fun of me for this and then my husband and I were skitting on it the other night and we were cracking up. So, I knew I had to post it!

  1. There are two facebook updaters that really cheese me off (my dad said that earlier and it was totally awesome)
    1. The ones that run all the time/going to the gym/going to get huge/just ran my 90th ultra marathon I’m so fit look at me. SHUT UP and sit down you ADD fool. No one cares. The rest of us are lazy. We get it.
    2. “I’m so tired of all this drama, people are so mean, I hope I get through this.” You know what is an indicator of someone not tired of drama? Vaguely posting about said drama tiredness on Facebook for the purpose of being inundated with caring wall posts validating the updater’s stance on whatever is causing problems for them today.

    • Ha ha..I know the ones you are speaking of. I have a friend that looks amazing and she’s always posting pics of her doing healthy stuff. I just want to say “I rode a bike. I was 10 but I did it.”
      The drama queens are horrible. I get so tired of reading all of their crap. I think the funniest are the ones that are like “You KNOW WHO YOU ARE” ha ha…scared to even call them out directly on Face Book.

  2. I should’ve taken a screen capture the other day. There were no fewer than a dozen updates, posted in rapid succession, from a girl I went to high school with, calling out her ex-husband’s girlfriend. The best line? “Stop hiding behind your kidney disease!” Then when someone jumped in and tried to play the voice of reason, her response was, “I’m just trying to help her.” Wow.

    • Kidney disease? Wow. The things people will put out there for all to see. 🙂
      I have some high schoolers on my friends list and let me tell you …I get so tired of “Ima” like “Ima kick her a**” and all of that crap. It kills me.

  3. LOL! there’s someone who’s very social network connected! ok so i should prolly stop talking about myself too since i love checking to see if anyone remembers me 😛 lol! thank you for sharing! too funny :’)

  4. I don’t like the mysterious updaters. Dammit, if you’re going to bitch – don’t be vague! Let me know what’s happening. I’m nosy.

    • Ha ha…I know what you mean. Someone who is like “I wish a certain someone wouldn’t have given me crabs”. Don’t leave me hanging. I want to know who gave you crabs. 🙂

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